George has not returned, and I have lost hope. The animal communicator will say my lack of faith is precisely why he has not, and now will not, come home. That because I am no longer urging him to return, he will stay where he is.

This would be funny to me if it were not about George. And of course, she has not yet said this. Most likely, I am anticipating a guilt trip because I already feel guilty.

I suggested to my son we take down the "Lost cat" signs in our neighborhood and he shook his head. When I looked at him, I saw tears in his eyes. So I waited until he returned to his father's, then walked around the neighborhood and tore them from the stop signs and mailbox units to which they'd been secured for nearly three weeks.

We will wait six months, he says, to get a new cat, because "George won't like it if he comes home and finds another cat."

Me, I'm thinking Christmas. I'm thinking a carefully wrapped, breathable container under the tree, packed with a wriggling orange, tiger-striped kitten.

I'm committed to writing more often again here, and about lighter subjects for God's sake! Look for exciting titles, such as Why Charles Went West in Search of Virgins and Me & Carol: My Eternal Brush with Celebrity. You'll understand. Meanwhile, kinda puts ya on the edge of your seat, don't it?

But the hour is late, mostly because I spent the last one searching online for news of Sept. 20, 2007 - the day my friend Lu's daughter was born. I'm going to meet little Autumn tomorrow. I picked up today an adorable Osh Kosh B'Gosh hoodie and pink matching pants. I felt a wave of sorrow while perusing the racks in Osh Kosh B'Gosh, remembering my own days of shopping there for a wee Robby whose long since outgrown snap-crotch overalls and shirts adorned with fuzzy-textured, bright red trucks and spotted giraffes.

Cute as it was, it seemed not quite enough.

So, I Googled and printed news of the day she was born. I tracked down entertainment and environmental news, including a long story on Wal-Mart's efforts to "go green," perfect for this dedicated environmentalist, mountain-dwelling friend of mine. I printed out the Summit Daily News movie listings for Sept. 20 and a copy of an editorial from the same paper.

I am quite proud of myself, and can only imagine that you all are in awe as well, high-fiving me in your minds. (Thank you very much.) My gifts usually lack in creativity. They may be nice, but are not typically very remarkable. I read about this idea in a magazine, which makes me prouder still: Reading about a cool suggestion is one thing, actually remembering to do it quite another.

At any rate, all this research, after well over a year away from daily newspaper life, has quite exhausted me. And tomorrow, I have a baby to hold - another pastime from which I have too long been absent.